Today’s post deals with the English language again, in this case controversial quotes. It is an English that delights in playing with the possibilities of language, pushing the boundaries of “acceptable” and tweaking noses left and right. In a world of corrupted correctness, full of guidelines of how to do this and that, people tend to forget that those rules were made up by a bunch of people who would think that slipping on a banana peel is a deadly affront to the whole race of bananas, blondes and Chinks, I mean, people of East Asian descent. These people probably think that fire is an insult to God, medicine a violation of the natural order and push-up bras gross misrepresentation.
Actually, I consider the stomach girdle more of a misrepresentation (distortion of fact)than a push-up bra (learned falsity), which is after all a prop to support assets in lieu of silicone. They still exist; just not of the right shape and size.
Not my article, but reprodused here for yur reading pleasur.
I like the proposed UN English language modifications to make English easier for everyone to learn! The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
Started reading some poetry today while web surfing. Here’s the link to the poem, courtesy of Poetry X.
T.S. Eliot is probably my favorite poet that I have never read before. I have printed copies of excerpts from his play The Cocktail Party which i consider even in its bastardized form, having been ripped out of context, to be some of the most wittiest writing in modern English.
Transcribed by Matt Morrison (edited by Neokai)
(herogreenlantern@hotmail.com)
From Brit Skits at [url]http://brit_skits.tripod.com/BritSkits.html[/url]
Feel free to distribute, but be sure to credit me and visit my site.
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No One called Jones: From Rowan Atkinson: LIVE
[Setting: Rowan stands at a classroom podium, a stern teacher]
Come on, settle down please. Answer your names. Anus. Arsebandit.
Bottom. Clitoris. Where are you, Clitoris? Dodo. Enema. Fistup.
To start off, the English language is absolutely fascinating. The Chinese alphabet may be more beautiful, the Esperanto syntax may be more logical, but no other language can claim to be more idiosyncratic. It gives us words like halitosis, which is a fancy way of saying he’s got bad breath. Or you can drop the bombshell and say his breath gives you a bad case of necrosis (fancy way of saying it kills you, bit by bit). Then it gives us a word called “nice”.
