Controversial English

Why so Serious?

Why so Serious?

Today’s post deals with the English language again, in this case controversial quotes. It is an English that delights in playing with the possibilities of language, pushing the boundaries of “acceptable” and tweaking noses left and right. In a world of corrupted correctness, full of guidelines of how to do this and that, people tend to forget that those rules were made up by a bunch of people who would think that slipping on a banana peel is a deadly affront to the whole race of bananas, blondes and Chinks, I mean, people of East Asian descent. These people probably think that fire is an insult to God, medicine a violation of the natural order and push-up bras gross misrepresentation.

Actually, I consider the stomach girdle more of a misrepresentation (distortion of fact)than a  push-up bra (learned falsity), which is after all a prop to support assets in lieu of silicone. They still exist; just not of the right shape and size.

I would like to share my own list of wonderfully inappropriate remarks, things that in the past would have condemned its speaker to a stake over a slow fire but which now consigns them to a chair with a fast current.

  • God has a special place for me… in his private hell. _|_ you, god. I still love you anyway.
  • I think, therefore I am. I think.
  • No one dies a virgin, life screws us all.
  • If sex is as bad as everyone says, why the hell am I here?
  • Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
  • I am his Highness dog at Kew; pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
  • A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
  • And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. God then promptly fried him on the spot.

Lastly I would quote Chapman’s (of Monty Python fame) eulogy:

You see, the thing about shock… is not that it upsets some people, I think; I think that it gives others a momentary joy of liberation, as we realised in that instant that the social rules that constrict our lives so terribly are not actually very important.

Think about it.

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