Posts tagged ‘English’

February 4, 2013

Neolisms: Simple Truths.

A neolism is a new truth. From “Neo” (new) and “-ism” (word ending that indicates action, manner, condition, beliefs or prejudice). Not the same as neologism – but similar in origin.

All neolisms are by yours truly – feel free to use as you see fit, just get the damned name to thank right. Who knows, something I made might become a meme. (Ha! That would be interesting.)

  • Antivirus

Use and be damned; don’t use, and be thrice damned – by the virus you can’t stop, by the virus you can stop, and by the antivirus company for not using their product.

  • When something goes bump in the night

The dead do not speak – and the living know better than to eavesdrop.

  • Truth

When things are in black and white – you are not thinking hard enough.

  • Defeat

Losing sucks – unless it blows.

  • Infinity

Infinity is a lot – until you learn algebra.

  • Baseball humour

The best humor comes from left field. Right field tends to be sleeping till the lefties are at bat.

  • Society

Society is like a boat: Great view above, stuff to keep it moving and working below and bilge at the bottom.

  • Work

Work does not end; but if you don’t work, you will.

  • Nature vs Nurture

Nature forms; Nurture shapes; Adversity forges.

  • Trust

Never trust promises from a forgetful woman – You never know when they might forget.

  • Relationships

Distance… is but a thought away.

  • Racing

If you are behind the last runner – you are either in the wrong race, or you’re trying too hard to win.

August 6, 2009

Controversial English

Why so Serious?

Why so Serious?

Today’s post deals with the English language again, in this case controversial quotes. It is an English that delights in playing with the possibilities of language, pushing the boundaries of “acceptable” and tweaking noses left and right. In a world of corrupted correctness, full of guidelines of how to do this and that, people tend to forget that those rules were made up by a bunch of people who would think that slipping on a banana peel is a deadly affront to the whole race of bananas, blondes and Chinks, I mean, people of East Asian descent. These people probably think that fire is an insult to God, medicine a violation of the natural order and push-up bras gross misrepresentation.

Actually, I consider the stomach girdle more of a misrepresentation (distortion of fact)than a  push-up bra (learned falsity), which is after all a prop to support assets in lieu of silicone. They still exist; just not of the right shape and size.

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April 7, 2009

Impruvd inglis

Not my article, but reprodused here for yur reading pleasur.

I like the proposed UN English language modifications to make English easier for everyone to learn! The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

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February 6, 2009

T.S. Eliot – The Hollow Men

Started reading some poetry today while web surfing. Here’s the link to the poem, courtesy of Poetry X.

T.S. Eliot is probably my favorite poet that I have never read before. I have printed copies of excerpts from his play The Cocktail Party which i consider even in its bastardized form, having been ripped out of context,  to be some of the most wittiest writing in modern English.

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December 31, 2008

Web Find: No One Called Jones

Transcribed by Matt Morrison (edited by Neokai)
From Brit Skits at [url][/url]

Feel free to distribute, but be sure to credit me and visit my site.

No One called Jones: From Rowan Atkinson: LIVE

[Setting: Rowan stands at a classroom podium, a stern teacher]

Come on, settle down please. Answer your names. Anus. Arsebandit.
Bottom. Clitoris. Where are you, Clitoris? Dodo. Enema. Fistup.

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December 23, 2008

Nice is Not Nice

Let me rant.

To start off, the English language is absolutely fascinating. The Chinese alphabet may be more beautiful, the Esperanto syntax may be more logical, but no other language can claim to be more idiosyncratic. It gives us words like halitosis, which is a fancy way of saying he’s got bad breath. Or you can drop the bombshell and say his breath gives you a bad case of necrosis (fancy way of saying it kills you, bit by bit). Then it gives us a word called “nice”.

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